The sun. We love the warmth and brightness it provides after a long, cold, grey winter. We love the way it feels washing over us, instantly elevating our mood. What we don’t love: damaging rays, sunburns, premature aging, and skin cancer.

My family has always loved going to the pool and the beach. Growing up my family also loved to be tan. Although we’re varying shades of white, some burn more easily, some tan more quickly. We all have freckles and lots of moles. And now, the majority of us have also had countless moles removed with both precancerous and cancerous results. Within my family we have had all three of the main types of skin cancer: Basal Cell Carcinoma, Squamous Cell, and Melanoma.

As I laid in the dermatologist office this past month, fighting tears, I listened to the sound of waves crashing from a hidden sound machine. But it wasn’t the thought of the beach or the sound of fake waves that transported and soothed me, it was mentally writing this post that helped calm my nerves and distract my anxious mind. This is a topic I’ve been passionate about for a while now, my recent experience simply affording me something new to add to the conversation. While I’ve had over thirty moles removed, this was my first one to come back abnormal and precancerous, thus requiring additional area to be removed and sent to the lab for biopsy.

The possibility of adding my name to our family history of skin cancer stirred my emotions. While I know many who have had one kind of skin cancer or another removed – and thankfully been fine – it can still be heavy when you’re in the moment. Just because something has become common, doesn’t make it less serious. And while I do pretty well with medical things, certainly better than some, I wasn’t sure how much more they were going to remove, or how they were going to do it. And I definitely hadn’t thought about the fact that I would need stitches. 

I had however thought about, and dreaded, the pain afterwards, as the healing after my initial removal of the mole had been my most painful one to date. It was a decent size but not huge. Sometimes an area is just more sensitive or more likely to get bumped or stretched. Perhaps it was a warning sign that more needed removed. Who knows. Being an active person, and a mom of three, anywhere on my body seems harder to protect and heal these days. In doing so I had to take a step back from my usual activity and naturally explain to my kids why.

My older two wanted to see it even though they thought the first removal, literally an open wound, looked “kind of gross”. They thought the stitches looked “kind of cool” and weren’t as bad as any of us thought they may be. (I know people who have had much more/worse!) My daughter asked if she could help me change my bandage and they would all ask how it was doing, curious as to the progress. It was perhaps a good lesson in empathy, ha.

Even the youngest knew Mama had a boo-boo and we put a blanket between the area of my leg and the place where his foot goes when I rock him – of course it’s the same spot. My husband had to literally peel our toddler off me at times in order to protect my sensitive leg. Just like if you’re sick or injured in some other way, it can be hard for everyone logistically and emotionally to not have you doing all the things you normally do, in the ways you normally do them. It can be especially hard and confusing to little ones when you’re otherwise totally fine and acting normal. But, we do what we have to do and everyone’s ok.

Thankfully my removal area healed fine and very thankfully my biopsy came back clear! No further action necessary.